Did you know that being addicted to anxiety is a “thing”? It is! Essentially, addicts will spend much of their time worrying about one thing or another. If there isn’t something occurring for them to worry about, they’ll find something! Their brains will even make stuff up, just to get that hit of adrenaline.
I know this because I’m a “recovered” anxiety addict. I put the word recovered in quotes because I like to believe that I’m recovered.
The truth of the matter, though, is I can slip back into the vicious cycle at any time. I know because this is what has happened recently.
My Anxiety “Habit”
I suppose it first started when I was a child.
I grew up in a household where turmoil was known to occur at any time, particularly when you least expected it. See, my mom had an explosive temper, and as a kid, I never knew what would set her off. So, I tended to remain vigilant.
And when things did… Whether I was the one who her wrath focused upon or not… Well, I remember quite a few instances having to breathe into a paper bag until I stopped hyperventilating.
As An Adult
Once I grew up, it got worse. After all, as an adult there is a good deal more for us to worry about. Finances. Work related issues. Kids and other family related “foo”. It’s a veritable feast of adrenaline!
Many a night, I would lie in bed and mentally visit the “special place” my mom had guided me to create in my mind. In some instances, I would “go” there and fall asleep, just so I could fall asleep in reality. Even then, I would awake in the middle of the night with a feeling of anxiety which had absolutely no cause.
It wasn’t until a handful of years or more ago I discovered that it was possible for a person to be addicted to the production of adrenaline brought on by anxiety. I also realized that it was highly likely that I was one of those people.
Fast Forward to the Present
It took me quite a few years to get to a place of peace where I could close my eyes at night, fall asleep easily, and sleep through the night without anxious interruption. But, I’d done it! The challenge with such an addiction is that one really cannot get away from the mind.
Fast forward, or in this case rewind, to this past winter. Things were rather stressful for us here at home. In some respects, it was as though I had regressed to childhood days. I felt as though I was walking on eggshells a good portion of time, just not knowing what bit of turmoil was going to occur in the next moment.
It went on that way for the good portion of a few months, and as a result, I became addicted to adrenaline again. Granted, it’s not as severe as it has been in times past, but that’s because I have one thing these days that I did not previously.
That’s the biggest advantage I had when I discovered that being addicted to adrenaline was even possible and that I likely was addicted to it – awareness. With awareness, I understand why, in the middle of the night, I wake with a feeling of anxiety that has no apparent explanation. If my body isn’t getting the adrenaline “hit” it desires, it will produce it on its own and without reason.
Yesterday morning, as I was waking, I received a “download”.
What’s a “download”? It’s basically the receiving of Universal wisdom. In this case, I had a conversation with Spirit, which was triggered by a bout of anxiety.
Essentially, I was guided to mentally create a container. Mine was a blue glass container with an ornate top. Then, I was told to scoop out the anxiety which churned in my stomach and place it in the container. It was a task that I happily carried out, and surprisingly enough, my stomach felt much better!
In addition to this, though, I was told that the “purpose” of anxiety isn’t to torment us. It, like fear, is here to act as a guide that shows us what matters most to us. As a result, the best way to “combat” it isn’t to resist or push against it. Rather, “seek to love and understand it for the teacher that it is”.
By placing it in the glass container, I’m better able to look at it, study it, and discover what lesson I’m meant to learn from it before letting it go.
How well will it work?
To be honest, I’m not yet certain, but was guided to share it with you. I can say one thing for certain, though, I definitely felt a sense of peace wash over me once I placed the anxiety in the container. And peace? In this day and age, is certainly worth its weight in gold. No matter how long it is experienced.
Until next time, dear friend, may peace be yours.